Victoya McDermott

12/4/2014 

Bryant Park Revisions 

Original

   He sits at a grey round table, in the cafe area of the big library on 42nd street. He starts typing on his laptop, then his fingers suddenly stops moving and he loosens his navy blue tie that's sits on his light blue shirt. He starts biting his finger nails then starts drumming his finger tips on his left knee that is covered by black slacks. He gets up walks a couple of steps to his left, his black leather shoes squeaking with every step. He rubs his head then sits back down. His phone rings and he pulls out a white and gold iPhone 5s, he yells into the receiver that he "I needs more time". He hangs up the phone and throws his head down on the keyboard his silver reading glasses falling to the table. He starts to look around the cafe, and then stares at his keyboard, the corner of his mouth begins to pull and he starts typing away.

Revised

The grey table he sits at in the café area of the big library on 42^nd street vibrates as he types away on his mac laptop; the typing suddenly stops and he loosens is navy blue that sits on his light blue shirt. Biting his finger nails and drumming his finger tips on his left knee that is covered by black slacks, he slowly looks up to the ceiling and takes a long deep breath. He suddenly gets up, starts to walk a couple steps to his left, squeaking coming from his black leather shoes as he moves. Rubbing his head he then sits back down. A ringing comes from his pocket and he pulls out a white and gold iPhone 5s, he yells into the receiver “I need more time”. Hanging up the phone and throwing his head down on the keyboard with his silver reading glasses falling on to the table. He starts to look around the café, stares at his keyboard as the corner of his mouth begins to pull, he then starts typing away.

Original

  She walks holding her lower back while her loose sheer black shirt blows in the wind. The guys she's with is holding her arm gently walking her to the nearest green table. She sits down crossing her legs showing her freshly pedicured toes in her pink sandals. He loosens his top button of his white button down shirt and takes a seat in the green chair next to hers. They both stare smiling at each other for a while; he then goes into a yellow bag with the letters PAX written on it. He pulls out a tuna sandwich and a water bottle that says Poland spring. He feeds her a bite of the sandwich accidentally spilling tuna on his khaki pants. He uses a brown napkin to wipe it up and notices she has tuna stuck on the left corner of her puffy pink lips; he uses the napkin to wipe it away gently. She brushes his red cheeks and he begins to smile, then they both began to chuckle. He whispers something into her ear then rubs her belly and she smiles and wipes away a tear off her swollen face.

Revised

 Walking holding her lower back while her loose sheer black shirt blows in the wind, she’s with a guy who is holding her arm gently walking her to the nearest green table. Crossing her legs while she sits down on one of the green chairs, her toes reveal a freshly pedicured nails in her pink sandals. Loosening his top button of his white button down shirt, he sits in the green chair next to hers. Staring into each other eyes, they both began to smile at each other; he then goes into a yellow bag with the letters PAX written on it. Pulling out a tuna sandwich and a bottle of water with the words Poland spring in white. While feeding her a bite of the sandwich he accidentally spills tuna on his khaki pants. Using a brown napkin to wipe it up, she leans over to brush his red cheeks, he begins to smile again, then they both chuckle. He whispers something into her ear as he rubs her belly, smiling she wipes away a tear off her swollen face.

Original

Her blondish brownish pigtails swings back and forth as she runs through the grass humming a song, her yellow flower dress blowing with the wind. She's splashing in every puddle with her blue rain boots with every step she takes. She then turns to and spots the birds her brown eyes glistening in the sunlight, she starts to chase after them. She starts spinning in circles chuckling, her voice high pitched. She takes a piece of white sheet paper out of her back pack shaped like a poodle and lays on the grass coloring with a green crayon. She then starts to hum the same tune she was humming just moments ago. A lady in a blue sheer dress calls out to her "Allison let's go honey". She turns to the lady and smiles reveling small dimples on both of her cheeks and skips toward the lady. They both hold hands and head out the park.

Revised

She runs through the grass humming a song as her blondish brownish pigtails swing back and forth. Wearing a yellow flower, it blows with the wind every sprint she takes. Splashing in every puddle with her blue rain boots, she then turns and spots the birds, her brown eyes glow with joy while glistening in the sunlight, she starts to chase after the birds, then starts spinning in circles, using her high pitched voice she lets out a chuckle. Taking a piece of white paper out of her back pack shaped like a poodle, she then lays on the grass and begins coloring with a green crayon. Humming the same tune she was humming just moments ago, a lady in a blue sheer dress then appears and calls out to her “Allison lets go honey”. Turning to the lady, she smiles reveling small dimples on both of her cheeks and skips toward her. Hand and hand they both head towards the parks exit. 

Victoya McDermott

Nov.18^th 2014

              Wolves are usually in packs and there is usually one wolf that is considered the alpha of the pack. The alpha is to allow the other pack members to eat first, their supposed to take care and make sure their pack is strong. Consider the alpha as a mother, one who has to keep the family together, the head of the house hold. A mother’s duties are never done; she will always be that person you go to when you’re in trouble or need someone to talk to.

             The alpha doesn't always have to be physically the strongest of the pack, but mentally have the ability to keep the pack balanced. An alpha will make sure his pack is okay at all times, he/or she will always put them first as a mother would to her children or a lion to his cubs. Imagine having the faith of others in your hands; imagine their protection and their guidance depend solemnly on you.  It feels like you’re lifting a 150 pound weight with just your piney, there’s so much going on in your mind, it sounds like tiny insects started a marching band in your head, beating their drums to no specific rhythm.

    Imagine it was your duty to not let the people who look up to you down, but you failed. Imagine feeling like an outsider when you’re supposed to be the one they look up to, now imagine losing your family, your pack, being voted by Simon himself on American idol. Now they’re looking for a new leader, a better role model. What would you do? In the wolf world it would be a fight to the finish, and only the strongest survive, a fight for a new alpha, but you won’t let that happen because you’re strength and your compassion is like seeing a full blown rainbow for the first time, gay and full of life.

      Life hits you like a ton of bricks, but you stand tall with your chest out and accept any challenge it has to offer you. This is why you’re the alpha, the leader of the pack and nothing can back you in a corner, nothing can belittle you or break you. You protect, provide and nourish your pack, you show them the way and teach the ropes, you prepare them to face the battles they can handle and show them not every battle is worth fighting. Now they’re strong enough to start a pack of their own and they’ll make great alphas because they had you as a role model.   

Victoya McDermot

Nov. 13, 2014

                                                                Wolves

Wolves are usually in packs and there is usually one wolf in the pack that is considered the alpha of the pack. The alpha is to allow the other pack members to eat first, their supposed to take care and make sure their pack is strong. Consider the alpha wolf as a mom, a mother who must make sure their newborn is heathy and strong. She must make sure this tiny human grows up and be ready to face the world on its own.

Victoya Mcdermott

"Unpacking a quotation"

  "John doesn't know how much I suffer. He knows there is no reason to, and that satisfies him".

    John wants to be in control, he wants to be the one that's always right or always knows what he's talking about. He wants her to be submissive so he can therefore feel like he actually is the man in the marriage. This quote proves that john does now really listen to much of what his wife has to say, and he doesn't value her opinion or brushes it off. During the time the story was written, this was how women were viewed. They were to always obey their husbands as if they were kings, listen to their every word because men were homered more then women at this time.

   I think this lead her to depression. The fact that she couldn't say or do what she wanted to without johns permission or the fact that she couldn't be around her son much because john thought she was sick and unstable. This is what encouraged her to write "the yellow wallpaper". It was her way of saying how she feels in a way only she would understand, just in case john or anybody else was to find it. They would just think she really hates the nursery and it's wallpaper.

  The wallpaper reminds her of herself, "unnoticed" or "unheard". John is always dismissing her, using pet names, treating her like a child instead of his wife, just like he dismissed the idea of changing the wallpaper or changing rooms. So she tears down the wallpaper hoping it will set her free make her more independent instead of following behind a man. When the narrator mentions in the end "I've got out at last, so you can't put me back", then she mentions "now why should that man have fainted, and right across my path" . That man she refers to is john and her getting out means she is free, free from being his shadow or his lap dog. She is proud of her freedom from john, it's likes breath of fresh air. She doesn't have to worry about upsetting him or doing something he doesn't like. She can be herself and make her own decisions. 

Oct. 21, 2014

                The Yellow Wallpaper

    The narrators husband, thinks she’s losing her mind, he thinks she has too big of an imagination. I think he thinks he’s opinion should be valued more than hers or he’s smarter or saner than she is. He has her think that she is sick, because when she tries to talk to him about the house he always brushes it off, and that causes her to get angry with him. Anything that john tells her, she often believes, because he is physician and the way he talks down to her makes her think she might actually be going crazy or “hysterical” as he would call it. Also the fact that he takes care of her, she feels she owes him or that she’s being ungrateful.

   

He has this image of how his wife should be, and that puts so much pressure on her its apart of why she is so sensitive. John feels if there is no reason for something it shouldn't matter, for example when the narrator mentioned “john does not know how much I suffer, he knows there is no reason to suffer, and that satisfies him”. Unlike the narrator, john doesn't like to confront his problems, if the problem does not concern him or there was no reason for it anyway, he just doesn't deal with it. He makes her feel like she’s a burden and takes her as a joke. He think she just complains about everything, her husband constantly telling her how she should and shouldn't be might have lead her to depression. However I do not think this is a ghost story at all. I think this is a story about a really unhappy woman and the house and the wallpaper, especially the wallpaper just reminds her of all the unhappiness she is feeling.

Victoya McDermott

9/17/2014

He sits at a grey round table, in the cafe area of the big library on 42nd street. He starts typing on his laptop,then his fingers suddenly stops moving and he loosens his navy blue tie that's sits on his light blue shirt. He starts biting his finger nails then starts drumming his finger tips on his left knee that is covered by black slacks.he gets up walks a couple of steps to his left, his black leather shoes squeking with every step. He rubs his head then sits back down. His phone rings and he pulls out a white and gold iPhone 5s, he yells into the receiver that he "needs more time". He hangs up the phone and throws his head down on the keyboard his silver reading glasses falling to the table. He starts to look around the cafe, then stares at his keyboard, the corner of his mouth begins to pull and he starts typing away.

She walks holding her lower back while her loose sheer black shirt blows in the wind.The guys she's with is holding her arm gently walking her to the nearest green table. She sits down crossing her legs showing her freshly pedicured toes in her pink sandals. He loosens his top button of his white button down shirt and takes a seat in the green chair next to hers. They both stare smiling at each other for a while, he then goes into a yellow bag with the letters PAX written on it. He pulls out a tuna sandwich and a water bottle that says Poland spring. He feeds her a bite of the sandwich accidentally spilling tuna on his khaki pants. He uses a brown napkin to wipe it up and notices she has tuna stuck on the left corner of her puffy pink lips, he uses the napkin to wipe it away gently. She brushes his red cheeks and he begins to smile, then they both began to chuckle. He whispers something into her ear then rubs her belly and she smiles and wipes away a tear off her swollen face.

Her blondish brownish pigtails swings back and forth as she runs through the grass humming a song, her yellow flower dress blowing with the wind. She's splashing in every puddle with her blue rain boots with every step she takes.she then turns to and spots the birds her brown eyes glistening in the sunlight, she starts to chase after them. She starts spinning in circles chuckling, her voice high pitched. She takes a piece of white sheet paper out of her back pack shaped like a poodle and lays on the grass coloring with a green crayon. She then starts to hum the same tune she was humming just moments ago. A lady in a blue sheer dress calls out to her "Allison let's go honey". She turns to the lady and smiles reveling small dimples on both of her cheeks and skips toward the lady. They both hold hands and head out the park.

With an odd brownish orange color for a pigeon, it sits shaking it's head in the wet grass. It starts shaking is feathery wings and white tail feather. It picks at a piece of bread on the concert ground, then flies over to the other normal colored pigeons. They began to fight over a piece of bread they're black beaks moving rapidly. The other pigeons flies away from the brownish one leaving it to sit in the grass by itself. The brownish pigeon with it's orange beak flies up to a tree branch, where it sits there looking down at the other pigeons. The other pigeons walk together along the grass poking they're heads in and out. The normal pigeons then fly off together, the brownish pigeon heads in the same direction trailing far behind.